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So if the “music” of your relationship is a bitter, hateful ballad of pain and inner suffering… MORE: 5 Signs He’s Not the One When you fixate on a relationship, you are choking the joy out of your own experience and that negative vibe transmits into your relationship and very quickly poisons it, fatally.
Instead of your guy feeling relaxed around you, he feels pressure (like he’s afraid to offend you or upset you).
You don’t feel like you’re walking on eggshells, worrying that you might screw something up. You don’t feel like you’re suffocating, wishing and hoping to finally get some sweet relief and get to breathe. In fact, you never even think about possibly losing them because you don’t feel you need to possess them in order to experience the love you have for them. Yes, popular songs it sound like it’s supposed to be. But movies and music are wrong, love is meant to be effortless and easy. Why is breaking your fixation essential to having success in your love life?
OK, so I talked earlier about what fixation feels like and how it’s the biggest warning sign that you’re trying to have a relationship with a bad match (that is, a match that isn’t going to work out in the long term and will drain your life, heart and soul until there’s nothing left…).
In general, though, compatible people have very little, if any, fixation in their relationships…
People who have good relationships observe how they themselves feel in a relationship with another person (whether it’s a lover, a friend or a co-worker).
I blame music and Hollywood for propagating this mindset, but for whatever reason, people today have the idea that relationships are supposed to be hard.Heck, you don’t even need them to be your boyfriend or lover. You just love having them in your life and they love being in yours, whether it’s as friends, as lovers, or as life partners.You just simply enjoy them as a person and you’re happy with them just being who they are. Again, I have to emphasize that it’s Fixation, on the other hand, does not feel pleasant.They observe if their connection to the other person feels like love (good) or obsession (bad).If it feels like obsession, they drop it like it’s hot.